Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
- Jay Leno
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
- Steven Weinberg
Of course the game is rigged. Don’t let that stop you–if you don’t play, you can’t win.
- Robert Heinlein
We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
- Randy Pausch
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
- George Burns
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.
- Henry Stimson
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Of course the game is rigged. Don’t let that stop you–if you don’t play, you can’t win.
- Robert Heinlein
There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.
- GK Chesterton
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
- Ellen DeGeneres
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
- Mark Twain
The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
- William James
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
- Mark Twain
Its never just a game when you’re winning.
- George Carlin
When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong – or absolutely right.
- Albert Guinon
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
- George Burns
A liberal is a person whose interests aren’t at stake at the moment.
- Willis Player
We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
A joke’s a very serious thing.
- Charles Churchill
He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have.
- Don Juan Manuel
It is always easier to believe than to deny. Our minds are naturally affirmative.
- John Burroughs
Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
- Sir Arthur Eddington
I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.
- John Cage
The quickest way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach, because then you don’t have to chop through that pesky rib cage.
- J. Jacques
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
- Fran Lebowitz
Never judge a book by its movie.
- JW Eagan
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield
I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect.
- George Burns
Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren’t distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.
- Randy K. Milholland
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
- Billy Crystal
If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.
- Edith Wharton
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.
- Henny Youngman
Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time.
– Norman Ford
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